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Here are three questions for you to consider…

1. How do you help your elderly loved one get past family customs and cultural beliefs, to accept assistance in their homes?

2. How do you tell your loved one that you and your siblings are concerned about them living alone at home?

3. How do you help them keep their independence without appearing to be interfering in their lives or making decisions for them?

These are issues that will not go away with time. To the contrary, everyone involved should be proactive about such complicated topics. With advance planning, and open and frank discussions within the family, the problem-solving process can work quite well. However, it will take some concerted effort on the part of you, your siblings, and your loved one.

The first thing to recognize is that many of the conversations you will be having on your loved one’s behalf could be emotionally laden and should be handled with care.

Some issues to consider when having conversations that are focused on helping your loved one decide whether or not to use home care:

• Ensure your loved one is completely focused and involved in all discussions, (assuming their mental capabilities are up to the task).
• Voice your opinions using “I” statements.
• Have a clear topic for every discussion.
• Be assertive about your thoughts.
• Be respectful of others’ opinions (especially your loved one’s).
• Realize it may take some time and several conversations to come to a consensus.
• Don’t blame others or use “You” statements.
• Don’t try to accomplish too much in one conversation.
• Don’t expect that it will be easy.

Living Assistance Services – Senior Home Care